“We will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, His power and the wonders He has done.” Psalm 78:4
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in your weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
“This sickness is not unto death but for the glory of God.” John 11:4
Left to Right Standing – Sean and Cherie O’Sullivan, Heather, Brian, Jordan Linton, Karen Linton
Left to Right Seated – Ben and Joel O’Sullivan, Judah Linton
My journey with disability began in 1949 when I was three years old. Our family lived on a farm in the Waikato, where my dad was a dairy farmer. I was barely old enough to know what the word meant, but disability was to be part of my life from the day my brother was born. Peter’s birth was a difficult one for my mother, and she knew something wasn’t quite right with her third baby. He didn’t suck properly so took ages to feed and had poor muscle tone. He made slow progress physically and didn’t learn to walk until he was two years old. When he started school at five a local kindergarten teacher observed that he seemed much slower in his learning than the other children. As he grew older we noticed he gradually grew weaker. Peter was a happy child, so we called him Smiley Pete. My parents loved God and lived out their faith in their daily lives. While not knowing what his problem was, Mum and Dad believed God could heal him. When he was seven an aunty friend took him to Australia to be prayed for by the healing evangelist Oral Roberts. While he did have some improvements, sadly he wasn’t healed; rather he grew weaker as the years went by. He eventually ended up in a manual wheelchair and lived at home with my parents. After 2 years at school he took correspondence lessons at home, which I loved to help him with. The diagnosis of Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy (DMD) wasn’t made until Peter was about nine. Sadly, he died just after his 16th birthday, in 1965, after increasing weakness and having difficulty with breathing.
While we grieved for Peter, each in our own way, our family went on with life in the years ahead. There was no indication that this disability would affect any others in our family. A few months after Peter died I became friends with Brian Vincent from the church we attended, Pukekohe Baptist. We married in 1968.
So, the years went by – we little dreamed that our lives were about to change dramatically. By the early 1970’s Brian and I had become the proud parents of three children, Cherie, Karen and David. I was finding fulfilment as a young wife and mother and God gave me many scriptures to encourage me.
However, as David grew, we noticed he couldn’t run or walk very fast or climb trees like his sisters. He was starting to remind me of Peter. After a series of tests and X-rays when David was four, he was diagnosed as having Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. Yes, it was the same disability as my brother! This disease causes the muscles of the body to slowly waste away until even the muscles of the heart and lungs are affected. It is a genetic disorder, affecting only boys, and caused by the lack of a protein called dystrophin in the muscles. It is characterized by progressive muscle degeneration and weakness. Being genetic meant I was probably a carrier, with the potential to pass this on to my children; a 25% chance of any sons to have it, or 25% chance of my daughters to be carriers of it. This was confirmed after I had a blood test and David a muscle biopsy. My mother must have been a carrier too, as both my brother and I were affected.
At back – Heather (me), Bruce (Dad).
At front – Peter, Steve, Flo (Mum), Kath
Up until then I didn’t know I was a carrier. We now knew Cherie and Karen could be carriers of the defective gene as well, potentially passing it on to any children they might have, but then only nine and seven, it was too early to tell. They became wonderful caring sisters to their brother, even though he needed extra attention as he grew older. He was a happy boy and we often said, “Keep smiling David, makes us wonder what you’re up to!”
While this was devastating news at the beginning, God encouraged me with the scripture, “This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God.” John 11:4. We believed God would heal him, and we took him to healing meetings for a while. But we reached a point where we relinquished his healing into God’s hands. As the years went by, he not only inspired us, but everyone he met. “It’s all right Mum,” he’d often say. “I know God can heal me – I just don’t know how or when.” He grew to be a young man with a strong faith, who seemed to take his increasing weakness in his stride, even when needing a wheelchair and unable to do much for himself. God encouraged me with the scripture in Exodus 2:9 (KJV) “Take this child away and nurse him for me, and I will give you your wages.” And He has done just that. When David got his first electric wheelchair, he loved whizzing around Hebron School, to the envy of his classmates.
When they tried to stand on the back for a ride, it annoyed him, so he did a quick turn in the chair and flicked them off the back! David eventually attended Mt Roskill Grammar where there was a disabled unit. He did well there, and continued his education by studying architectural drafting at Unitech. This enabled him to design our new wheelchair accessible house with a harbour view in Te Atatu, which we moved into in 1994.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in your weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
When Cherie, and then Karen, got married they faced uncertainty regarding starting a family because of the hereditary factor. Cherie and Sean wanted to know if Cherie was a carrier, so when they married in 1989 she had a DNA test done. It was determined that she was a carrier, so they knew the risks involved. Cherie said at the time, “There is a 75% chance that our child will not have DMD, so this is a risk we decided to take.”
In 1995 Sean and Cherie’s first son Joel was born. A month later blood tests verified that he had DMD. We were devastated – this was not what we were expecting to hear. This disability was not going away, it was now affecting a 3rd generation. Joel, our first grandson, won his way into our hearts as he grew. Just a year later, Ben was born and he too was given the same diagnosis. This too was devastating news: it was too big for us, but not for our God, whom we believed was still in charge. We decided we’d trust Him with our future, as we watched Joel and Ben grow up; they were a double blessing. When asked what he thought about having two nephews with DMD, David was quite matter of fact. “They could find a cure for MD before they get too old and that would make a difference.”
Karen married Ivan in 1995, and soon she was pregnant. She and Ivan decided not to have tests to determine whether Karen was a carrier or not. They didn’t want the knowledge of a disability to potentially affect the way people treated their children – for as long as possible. And they knew God would be faithful whatever the outcome. Jordan was born in 1997 but as he grew showed no signs of muscle weakness, rather the opposite – he was full of energy and bounced all over the place. Judah was born two years later, and he too wasn’t tested. However, as he grew older Karen began to notice the tell-tale signs of DMD: muscle weakness, not able to run properly, or pedal his bike very well. So at nearly seven years old, (in spite of the doctors thinking he was a bit too average to have DMD) Judah was diagnosed with the same disability as his cousins and uncle! We were all in this together. And three out of four of our grandsons have the same disability. At the time it was mind-boggling to realize this and the implications for our family. But David himself became a role model for his nephews and was so proud of them. They loved having rides on the back of his wheelchair but he wasn’t quite strong enough to sit them on his lap!
Caring for David took its toll on Brian and I even though we had wonderful caregivers to help us. We were grateful for the support of the folk from Elevate, like our wonderful friends, Hugh and Di, and the many Labour Weekend Camps we attended. Eden AOG was our church then, where Geoff and Joanne Wiklund pastored us. They could see the tremendous stress we were under so Geoff suggested we take a ‘sabbatical’ break from David’s care. So in 2000, when he was 25, David moved into a supportive flatting situation in Mt Albert. This was not an easy decision: we had to let our son go to be cared for by others. However, some of his friends from Elevate lived here, including another young man with DMD, so after six months he was happy to continue. Two years passed and it became apparent that he needed more intensive care than the flat could give him, so he returned home. His weakness increased, affecting his breathing and eating. Finally in September 2002, aged 28, David passed away into the presence of the Lord he loved and served. It was his Nana’s 88th birthday (she outlived her grandson by five years).
Left to Right – Karen, Heather, Brian, David (seated), Cherie.
Our grandsons now became our focus as we supported them, enjoying regular family times like Christmas and birthdays together. We proudly watched as their parents cared for their sons and gave them great experiences. Karen even took Jordan and Judah to Rarotonga in 2008 for a year’s teaching position, while the O’Sullivans went to Bathhurst Motor Sports in 2007. The four ‘little’ boys grew to be handsome young adults, and have enjoyed getting together as cousins! Each one has unique gifts and talents in art, music, memory and computer technology, while they all love motor sports! Cherie’s family now live in Tauranga, as we do, while Karen and Judah live in Hikurangi near Whangarei, and Jordan lives in Palmerston North.
In 2018 Ben developed a serious heart condition which needed treatment. Miraculously he and the family were still able to take a ‘bucket list’ trip to the United States, with sightseeing, motor sports and a Church Worship School on the agenda. However, Ben’s heart condition didn’t improve and a year later in March 2019, he passed away. He’s now no longer confined to his wheelchair. Joel and his parents miss him very much.
It’s only by God’s grace He has enabled our family to live this big life. From my parents to our grandchildren, we as families have found God’s faithfulness and grace truly has been sufficient for all our needs. For His grace is made perfect in weakness, including the weakness of muscular dystrophy. When we are weak, He makes us strong. I wrote “It’s Allright Mum!” as a labour of love, but also as therapy as I worked through some of the issues that disability in the family brings. I wanted to encourage families who were living with a disability. I wanted say “It’s all right, Mums, and Dads, God’s got this! He’s in control and He’s the same yesterday, today and forever. He’s the God of compassion and He can comfort you like He has comforted us.”
“The Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, comforts us with in all our troubles, so we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
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Heather Vincent lives in Tauranga with her husband, Brian. They have both been involved in Elevate since attending National Camp in 1985. Her book, It’s All Right Mum!, was published by Daystar in 2004.
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